Virtual Classes

Virtual classes, known also as Virtual schools, is (a) new program that combines the learning progress of a school and the conveniecy of computers. To some of you it may sound strange but sometimes it works better than a normal class and it's also pretty simple. The students go on a website, and there(phr. - where) they can see they're(sp.) teacher through a video. (new sentence) their teacher uploads to the website(phr.), in that video the teacher could(gr. - can) teach or help the students.


On the one hand, studying like this makes it more convinient for most of the students and for some of the teachers to communicate with each other. It also solves discipline issues, because the problematic students cannot hurt the studying atmosphere, nor insult the teacher or other students,(new sentence) after all the other students and teachers can't hear them, and in some class forums inappropriate messages can be deleted or cencored.



On the other hand, students may not be able to understand the studying material property, some students only understand it when the teacher or an advanced student explains it to them (in person).

Great, but it is too bad that you haven't completed your work.
(65)
Daphna

I want my money back

22 Hatzionut street
Holon
December 8, 2009


Ms. Gilat Saimon
Principal
Kugel High School
1 Moti Gur Street
Holon

Dear Madam,

This year, as it is already a custom, 11th graders from almost every Israeli high school, including yours, have been given the opportunity to join a group of israeli students and teachers going on a trip to Poland. This trip is very significant to Israelis and Jews, in general, and probably most of the students want to take a part in this important journey to concentration camps in Poland. However, I believe the price of the trip is too high and thus many students can't afford to go on the trip, in spite of its importance, and that is just why I'm writing you this letter

First of all, I realize that your school gives scholarships to students that need it, but most of the students need it, so even if you give a few students scholarships, it's not going to be enough for the rest of them. Because of economic problems about 80% of the 11th graders won't be able to afford buying(מיותר) the tickets and won't go to(ww. - on) this unimaginably important trip.If they don't experience this trip now who knows when they're going to have a second chance to do this.

I know that, as a principal, you're(you are) under a lot of pressure, but this is urgent, and if we work hard and fast enough we will be able to solve this problem easily. The students and I have no time to waste, the trip is in a few months and we don't want to miss it. it's a once in a life opportunity, and it's a shame that students can't go just because they can't afford it.

To conclude, students should go to Poland without being worried about its price, but since money is always a problem, I suggest either to reach an agreement with the airline company, and make the tickets cheaper(phr. - and lower/reduce the prices), or give scholarships to more students.

I look forward to a promt reply.

Yours truly,
Guy Shiran

This is better. Well done!
(95)
Daphna

A Book Review

The Long Goodbye is a drama book, written by ____________ . The book is about a private investigator that gets close to a bum, and gets in trouble because of him. Generally I liked the idea of the book just as an idea, but as a book it was awful.

The main characters in the book were ordinary, boring and full of suffer(ww.) as watching a sleeping person for a whole night with no option to leave. The main character is Peter Marlow, a private investigator, that should've minded his own business, (Start a new sentence) (He) finds a bum sitting in the street with his weird wife. Obviously Marlow got(gr. - use the present) curious and as I said in the first paragraph, that's what got him into a few troubles(phr. - trouble).

Very promising....but where us the rest?
(45)
Daphna

This Is Serious

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said at(ww.) september 21, 2009 he was proud he had managed to enrage the West by denying the Holocaust during a speech he made in Tehran in honor of Jerusalem day.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is obviously trying to disturb the israeli efforts to stop the wars and the tension in the area. Israel has to contradict Ahmadinejad's words as soon as possible. If Israel doesn't do it, its reputation could be damaged.

Also, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad supports terror and wants to destroy Israel, America and probably a few europian countries, and a person that supports terror isn't so different from the actual terrorists. Therefore Ahmadinejad shouldn't be trusted.

To conclude, there must be done something immidietly(wo.) about Ahmedinejad's words before it gets even more dangerous, and before he convinces more people that Israel is a devilish country.

The link for this Article: http://www.ynetnews.com/articles/0,7340,L-3779539,00.html

Very good work!
(92)
Daphna

It's about time

Gilad Shalit is an israeli soldier that was kidnapped on June 25, 2006. When he was kidnapped he was 20 years old, and now he is 23 years old and still being kept imprisoned by the Hamas terror organization in Gaza.

The family of Gilad Shalit has suffered for too long, their pain is beyond undarstanding and they are desperate to bring him back .This issue could have been solved a long time ago if the government seriously tried to make a deal with the Hamas and bring Gilad back. The government must do whaterver it can to make sure that its citizens are safe and if they're not safe, it's the governemt's duty to make them safe even if the price is high.

The Gilad Shalit's issue also causes a decrease in the citizens' ability to trust the government's will to protect and serve. People don't want to go to the army anymore because they're afraid that if they're captured, the government just won't work hard enough to bring them back and that their lives are going to be ruined.

To conclude, Gilad has suffered a lot and we can just imagine how bad he feels in that place where he's being kept. The government should just pay the price to release him and get this over with. Gilad and his family aren't the only ones suffering from that situation, Israel suffers too.

The link for this article: http://jewishvoiceandopinion.com/a/JVO20090303.html

Good work.
(90)
Daphna

Now, use this summary to write a letter to the editor.
Daphna

Facebook Hate-Groups Are Unfair

One of the most common issues in Facebook, one of the most popular websites in the world, is the hate-groups in it. hate-groups is a part of Facebook's group applications and there is no real way to get the hate-groups out of Facebook. The fight against it has to come from the target audience.

Some people may think that hate-groups are funny and that it doesn't really hurt anyone, some may even enjoy it. But there is nothing funny in insulting people and swearing at them. That kind of stuff are always the beginning of wars.

Also, that phenomenon is a very bad way that teaches young kids to hate those hated people and want to hurt them even more. It can only make the society more violent. A cultured society can't live along with hate.

To conclude, I think that something must be done about this situation. It hurts the students' way of thinking, they can't tell what is right and what is wrong. It also hurts small groups of different people in the world, It encourages racism and violence. and must be dealt as soon as possible.

About The Uniforms

In some schools students have to wear uniforms in order to get in and study. In the pat few years the biggest issue about school uniforms keep coming up, should student wear school uniforms or not?. Many students claim that they shouldn't wear school uniforms and they should pick their own clothes, and determain their own clothing rules.

On the one hand, I agree with the students, I think that school uniforms are unnecessery. They only make conflicts between the students and the school's management. The students deserve to at least wear whatever they want to wear or have enough possiblities about it.

On the other hand, too much freedom can encourage some students to hurt their body as a fashion statement such as having tatues, earings in wrong places, even going to school almost naked. Students may need elder people to tell them what to do so they won't do critical mistakes.

To conclude, school uniforms may not be necessery but it makes the students follow the rules and obey.

The story about Burge McCall and his wife

Burge McCall, a very annoying person and a bad husband, so his ex-wives say. Burge McCall is a fat little man with a bad temper that like to spend money but not on his wife but on other women. Burge McCall met Mrs. McCall in a picnic and they immidietly fell inlove. Mrs. McCall is the opposite of Mr. McCall. She's nice, kind, quite and introverted lady.

At the beginning of their relationship the couple were inlove and Mr. McCall was showering kindness and love upon his wife. But it all was gone in a short time. Mr. McCall got all mean and careless, he did almost everything that will make someone normal want to kill himself. His ex-wifes used to fight him when he did that kind of things and one of them even threw the oven on him. Mr. McCall wanted to get his wife's attention and to fight her like a little kid, but his wife remained calm and quite. At some point it was too much for him so he slapped her. She tried to stay calm and said "Mr. McCall you're a big rat" and kept ignoring him.

Mrs. McCall's words couldn't leave Mr. McCall's mind and when he went to the store the salesman told him that his wife bought rat poison. Mr. McCall was stunned and paniced, he was afraid that his wife will try to poison him and didn't want to piss her off. In order to do that he changed his atitude and became a good husband. From that point they became a good loving couple and lived a good life until death separated them.

To conclude, Mr. McCall was a bad husband at first and Mrs. McCall was quite and no one knew her name, and they may have started they're relationship badly but it ended up well, and that's the prove that everything is possible if you try hard enough.

Homework shall be illegal

Homework, one of the most hated things in the world, is an old studying method that is being used in almost every school in many countries all over the world. Among that there's an argument that questions the importance of homework. Some people claim that giving homework is a total waste of time, and others disagree and say that homework is a great way to remember the studying material - Good opening.

I, personally, hate homework and think that the world would be much happier without it. I do agree with the fact that it shows some good products of students' knowledge in school after doing the homework, but think about the bad influence the homework has on many students, and sometimes on teachers too. Homework is a sorce of self disappointment, depression, bad temper and rebelliousness (Why? It's not clear).

On the other hand, many people think that homework is the best way of studying for tests and understanding everything that is being taught. Well, I think not. After all, homework is just a method, it can be replaced by a better method. I think that the problem in this whole situation is a cause of lack of interest, now, I think that it's the government's issue and that they should think about some interesting ways to teach the students the studying material.

I believe that if no more homework is given to students, the school atmosphere will be much better and students will respect the teachers, the school and might be more interested in studying the material.

Good work. But don't forget to add the required clarifications in paragraphs 2 and 3.
(85)
Daphna.

Space exploration or not?

Nowdays, it is very common to see an article about space exploration in the newspapers. In order to explore outer space the U.S and the U.S.S.R waste about 2 bilion dollars and euros on launching a single space craft. Now, is it really okay to waste so much money when the economy is dying?

On the one hand, space exploration helps humanity to get further and reach new limits. Satellites discover information about new planets, space shuttles can carry astronauts to new places in order to have a research out of earth.

On the other hand, space exploration costs a lot of money, effort and time . And in the end, all of the effort is enough for one space craft or one satellite. Have you ever thought about the possibility that a space craft explodes and doesn't finish it's "mission"? What if people die there because of others' mistakes? Are you willing to take that risk?- Have you thought about it? Write down what you think, don't limit your work to asking questions. You are present to issues here and not explaining fully any of them.

To conclude, I think that even tho space exploration costs a lot of resources, it means a great step for science. But no matter how big that step can be, it'll never be a good time to do this until there are no more wars on Earth.

this is much better, but you still have to work on your 3rd paragraph, according to my remarks.
(80)
Daphna

NO for the peer pressure!

Many people, especially teenagers, are affected by peer pressure. Letting someone copy from your test, cutting classes or hurting someone are mostly the causes of peer pressure. Does it really look right for you to do all that? It shouldn't. In my opinion, peer pressure is the exact opposite of good education and it should be stopped immediately.

Lately we hear about many different people that commit a crime not because they wanted to or because they had to, but because they were "forced" to. Those people weren't pysically forced to commit the crime - they were forced mentally by people who wanted them to do something and used their social status in order to do that. That situation is called peer pressure.

Even tho peer pressure is mostly used to cause negative products it can also be used to cause positive products such as making a student stay and study in a class when he wants to cut it. Too bad peer pressure is almost always used to change people negativly.

To conclude, I believe that people shouldn't give in to peer pressure and that they should fight against it. And if everything I wrote in this article still didn't affect you, think about the rest of your life or even about how you're going to feel tomorrow, knowing that you've done something wrong and didn't stop it.

This is very good Guy. But please, don't forget to correct your grammar and spelling mistakes, according to my remarks. (80)
Daphna.

22.1.09
.
Hello Janet,
.
I would like to advice you about solving your problem. I think that real friends wouldn't hurt their own friends or risk their friends and the things that their friends care about like your grades in your case.

I suggest that if you don't want to lose them you should try and get lower grades so they will stop trying to copy from you. On the other hand, if you do that it'll hurt your grades.
If you don't like that suggestion you could also try and miss some exams and let them deal with it without you.

But, the best way of making them stop is to tell them that you just don't want to help them. Like I said- real friends doesn't risk their friends. If they get mad because of it, then they're not your friends, but if they don't get mad then you should give them a chance to prove that they can be your friends without using you.

I hope your problem will be solved as soon as possible and that you will try to use my suggestions. If you have other problems or still having this one you can ask for more advices from me.

Guy.

Good work, Guy. (87)
Daphna.

Terrorism in Gaza

Terrorism in Gaza

I'm a 15 years old student in Kugel Highschool in Holon.
I want to state my opinion about the the conflict between Israel and the Hamas in Gaza. I think that this is all the Hamas' fault. The Hamas was launching missiles at Israeli cities such as Sderot and Yavne altough The Hamas and Israel were supposed to be in a cease-fire. Such a situation is unfair and Israel had to fight back for it's citizens' lives.